famine months

moments when I might have jumped

a strange impulse I try to fight

pulled over on the shoulder

time takes glaciers

to say she’s fine

and all the world is white and iced

so nothing lives and nothing dies

and it’s too cold to shape with naked hands

placebo pleas, they fold themselves

to hold themselves

they used to hold me but now they’re empty

and I am dark and fleeting in the backseat

oslo

oh, the stones

you know you’d have to tie them tighter

so they don’t roll off of your bones

when you let your arms go

who are you fighting?

you’re at your mercy

full hue

happier, I want to be happier

don’t you dear?

I want to be no one’s fault

maybe now I’m red and raging

you can shake the fallow frame

but you just smile so we keep going in circles

you have sweet dreams waiting

black leather engraving

you are safe from your own skin

but I’m only full so often

on the front porch he paints me round

with no strength to thaw

the habits of your mind

if I was brighter, if I was kinder

if i was braver, maybe

if I was brighter, if I was kinder

if I was braver, maybe

if you’d tell me there are conversations left

I’m waning again

the fawn

in many ways I’m still eating glass over you

I go for walks to talk to God

I hold my hand like lovers do

wary of gold too soon

worry, sick with worry, I can’t be worried anymore

hurry, honey hurry, I won’t be hurried anymore

times I didn’t feel safe

what’s wrong?

my voice was always too loud

I don’t think I slept much at all

my food turned to poison in my mouth

I’ll cry till I can see the light

I’ll cry till I can see both sides

see mine, see mine

I never saw mine

in a white gown

furrowed, you dim

your legs are wrapped and calm

they wait beside you

your lids dance and pray softly

I will take your blessing

by red work

now that I know there’s a way out

and my eyes are the start

I thought they were a mirror, I was wrong

I have my own pockets to empty

love that I guard and love that I give

I want to watch my tongue

make a way to say I love you

all this time

all this time I thought they were a mirror

now that I know there’s a way out

and my eyes are the start

at the place

at the place, as old as we’ve been

I take the path, I take the tree for someone

I’m sure of little in the dull light

enough of mouths

enough of flight

did you think the way the sun hit

you would have the line?

and your love would turn to face?

at the golden hour, at the place

I thought this dream might shift

before I lift my gaze

I won’t turn

the waves

bathe me in the sea

my love, I need a small death

face me, sure and sweet

waves will come and change us

claim all our breath

take me to the place

tell me your heart is calm

my heart is fuller than

all I’ve lost

carve my body like your favorite

part of the earth

call my name like your

favorite word

my love, I need a small death

like you

salt and water

what do they offer

to bones that pray

as the ocean

death turns over

and beauty has its way

I thought the dark would

hurry my heart

to an early grave

when the light came

what sweet wonder

that pure unbroken day

without pain

like you

taut

we share a chrysalis one night

from upside down the sky turns bright

my eyes are much too dark I think

I’m going blind for real this time

and I’m scared of changing shape

of losing sight of my own hands

that break the branches as you hand them to me

I’m not myself

when you’re waking up

with the dreams still there before your eyes

what are the pictures that you keep of me?

where are the threads connecting everything?

I know what you are thinking

your body is sore from breaking with mine

and tearing the silk that held us taut

from trees

till the petals fell

make your mark, I’ll make mine

take my heart, I’ll be fine

who holds the reigns on this thing?

who holds my eyes on painted wings?

do you know you have my love?

do you know you have my constancy?

do you know my shadow long

hid all my pain from me?

till the petals fell

I want to say I’m sorry

for curling my lips in

for hiding my eyes when

hurt could wake me

till the petals fell

let your wings out, love

let your wings out

grow our fangs out, love

get our fangs out

who holds the reigns on this thing?

who holds my eyes on painted wings?

till the petals fell