a cure for performance nerves
like many musicians across the globe, I spent a good chunk of 2020 not performing in public. this wasn’t the first time i’d been on hiatus from the stage. although i began performing at the age of 13 and performed regularly around the twin cities, from ages 19 to 24 i actually only played two official shows. however, this second, more recent hiatus was different in at least one significant way: the audience also did not have the opportunity to see live music in public, whether it was me or any other artist. this distinction really came to light when I finally did perform again, and I want to share what i learned from it with you — something of a bright side to our year of stage-darkness.
throughout the various lockdowns, while i did participate in, or host livestream shows, i never felt the exchange of energy i experienced at live events. by my fourth livestream, i was spent on the concept, and i think my audience was, too.
happily, come august of 2021, I was able to book my first in-person show in months at aster cafe in minneapolis, minnesota. i played alongside brandon wozniak, one of my favorite local musicians, a jazz saxophonist with whom i had recently been collaborating. he performed first, a unique set of ambient saxophone, including pedals, loops, and raw tone. then i performed next, and we finished the evening with two songs together.
so what, you may be wondering, was this bright side to my involuntary hiatus from the stage that I mentioned earlier? first, let’s talk a little bit about performance anxiety.
it’s totally normal to have anxiety or nerves about a performance. being on stage is a big event, and one that requires you to have your wits fully about you. a lot of the butterflies you feel are really there to help you play and sing your best!
but sometimes nerves can get in the way. any musician can tell you about shaky or cold, clammy hands making their fingers stutter, or a dry throat making their voice crack during a performance. this isn’t how you want to feel on stage.
my favorite go-to cure for performance nerves has always been deep breathing. as a voice teacher, i often remind my students that the deep, diaphragmatic breathing required for singing actually helps bring the mind and body into a relaxed state. deep, calm breathing communicates to the parasympathetic nervous system that we are safe, away from threats. this in turn allows the voice to come out naturally and with artistic control. the same principle works for instrumentalists, too.
however, this night at aster cafe I discovered another cure for performance nerves: remembering that it’s not all about you, the performer.
in the normal flow and busy process of preparing for, and promoting a concert, it is very easy to get too much inside one’s own head. thoughts like, “will anyone be there?” “will they like my music?” “will I mess up?” “am i even good enough to be on a stage?” can be very consuming. all of these questions have something in common: they are focused on you as the performer.
after months of not participating in the live music experience, I found, to my delight, that my internal dialogue had altogether shifted. this night at aster wasn’t about me at all. it was about everyone else who had made the effort to leave their safe, comfortable homes to come out and hear live music. it wasn’t about me, it was about them, and it was about the music.
although I had considered this concept before, this was the first time i really felt it so concretely, in both my mind and my body. and guess what? I wasn’t nervous at all! my focus shifted to being a vessel for my audience, to add to their enjoyment, to help them relax, listen, and connect to something bigger than all of us, for a moment, in a room together. this realization gave me a sense of ease, joy, and liberation that i was then able to carry onto the stage with me.
maybe my experience will help you at your next performance, too.